You Don't Always Get What You Want...

I read a book on how to flirt. It’s one of those things that I just never felt the need to learn but… well… I’ve been in a bit of a dry spell so I feel that its time to change things up a bit. Apparently, all you have to is to make eye contact with a man and hold it for 5 seconds-- with a smile. So I decided that since I was going out to Killeen to the Mayborn Planetarium that I would give flirting a try… near a military base… on Valentine’s Day… at a planetarium… and it’s far enough away that the chances of ever seeing any of those people again would be extremely small, if I did something foolish. My horoscope even promised success... as a matter of fact, here it is copied and pasted:

Look for a very flirtatious situation to heat up quite a bit today -- they are turning up the heat! It seems that they want things to move along more quickly than they have been, up to now. Hang on, this one could be quite a bumpy ride! And if romantic matters aren't top priority right now, you can expect a flirtation of another sort to get a lot more promising. You're going to have some time and the opportunity to delve deeper into something you've been interested in learning more about.

It was all set. I had even told a few friends about my plans so I wouldn’t back out. When I woke up this morning, I decided that I’d go get my nails done and get a pedicure while I was at it since I haven’t had one all winter. There’s nothing else that makes me feel more feminine. Unfortunately, everything took so long at the salon that I was running very late and almost decided not to go, but my friends were expecting a phone call, so I made myself go. I’m buffed and polished. My cute French-tipped toenails are peeking through my toeless pumps. I’m in red and wearing my rock‘n roll necklace and jeans. I feel great. I was digging the drive, I mean 130 is right there and I couldn’t even pretend that I missed the turn to Killeen since the road just deposits you right there to take that left. It’s a good drive, so I turn on Bob Seeger and really start to relax and open up to this experience, even though I’m not on the back of a Harley….

I get to the planetarium and there’s next to nobody there. Just several couples in their 60’s and one family with a cute little boy. Since there’s time, I go into the former gift shop, which has been turned into a playroom/rock gallery. The little boy and I hang out touching all the rocks and doing some language development work using descriptive language for the rocks we feel. No big deal. I’m staying for the Alaska wilderness show… who knows who will come in for that one. The Alaska Wilderness show was narrated by Charleton Heston, which irritates me a little. The whole NRA thing is a sticky point for me. But, the photography is stunning and I really like feeling like I’m free falling in space so I loved it. Looking at the aqua blue of the glaciers just further convinces me that I need to go north… or south to the Antarctica, either one would work for me. I’d LOVE to walk on a glacier and to see one calve. But, I’m getting nowhere with the flirting intention and I see that there’s a Beatles Laser Light Show next. Well, there’s got to be more people for that, right? I ask the ticket clerk about the laser show and she asks me if I’ve seen Across the Universe. Well, yeah! I even have the DVD and she calls over another worker who loves the movie and we three chat over the movie and debate the merits of the laser show and yeah, I flirted with that boy even though he was a baby in college… but it was just practice and the other gentlemen weren’t even looking at me, so…. Whatever!

I buy my ticket for the laser show wishing I had something more “recreational” in my system but I do have a long drive back… and by now I’m considering going out to eat after this and then returning for the "Sea Monsters" show and the "Sky Watchers of Africa" show, which are at 7 and 8 pm, since I’m having such a good time. I’m thinking that I can get a few more science hours in for the Collaborative…. But the laser show starts and before you know it, I’m grooving to the sounds of the Beatles’ “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Heart Club” and “I Wanna Hold Your Hand”. I’m dancing in my seat enjoying the show and the music assuring myself that no one can see me dancing since it’s so dark and there’s like 5 people in the entire planetarium. “Nowhere Man” comes on and I’m thinking that this is a downer song for a laser show and certainly not one of my favorites and suddenly someone jumps over the row of seats and lands in the seat next to me. It’s a woman and she says, “I see you’re here alone... maybe we can get together…” I get up and move over one seat, totally freaking out! What do you say to that? Where the hell did she even come from?

The show ends, the lights come up and she bolts from the theater going left, I bolt for the right and before I know it I’m lost somewhere in Killeen—not like it’s that big of a town and after driving aimlessly for a bit, I figure out where I am and begin to look for a restaurant and they are all packed and I’m thinking how in God’s name, in a military town, did I attract a woman?

I thought I didn’t have expectations going into the experience, but I guess I did…


And she wasn’t what I was expecting.