I would like to think that everyone gets what they need from their job... although that might be a bit naive. I am lucky. I have a job that I love, a job that means a great deal and a job that is quite important in the eyes of those I serve. But I also know that tonight, my job has me worn out. It is Thursday night, and that seems to be my limit this year. I can do fine Monday through Thursday but by Thursday night, I need a hot bath, some bubbles and some serious rock and roll to set me right again.
I know each year when I step into my classroom, that I will have my heart broken several times during the year. It's one of those things I know but I still do it. Because the job is worth it, and the children are certainly worth it. I'm strong enough and enough of a fighter that I always minimize the cost to myself. But by Thursday... well, it's just a little tougher to rally for the final round. Teaching is not for the weak.
One of my boys is in trouble.. or rather his family is in trouble... and by default, because he's just 7 years old- he's in trouble. We call them at-risk children. We make charts and graphs about them and attempt to find all kinds of services to help them. But too often, we back away from the line that may help keep a kid from falling off the cliff they are being pushed over. Today and for most days, I think I might be that barrier that keeps him from falling. I think I am his safety net, but then again, I may be putting too much cream on my tacos...
Ahhh, but when I look into his eyes... no. I am the fence that keeps him safe. For this year, he and his heart are mine to guard and I will. I refuse to think of what comes after that because I know someone else will take him on and he will succeed and he will do well. And when I am invited to his high school graduation, I will know that I have done my part...
But sometimes, on a Thursday night, it's easy to let my guard down and let a thread of doubt snake in.
He's a good boy and he has come so far in these 104 days of school that we have had so far. There's so much more for him to do and I know that he will do it. He will be reading on grade level. He will master his emotions and he will learn every other important thing that second grade demands of him. He will do it because I ask him to do it. And all he gets is my belief in him... and a hug at the end of the day. He gets that big hug that he asks for, a hug to last him the whole night through, until he returns to our classroom.
I'm praying for you, sweetie... you can do it... I got your back... and I'm running interference.
1 comment:
oh genia! you are super! this is why I teach too! You are so right! our job is not for the weak! It will down right wear you down if you let it! Don't we all have those babes that we hug and know that we are their only hug all day. We are more than instructors! we are so much more than that! God Bless teachers!!!!! We are saving the world!!!
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