What to do... What to do...

I've been thinking a lot-- something, unfortunately, that I am prone to do...this time I'm thinking about what people do with their lives (or not, as in the case of one of my sons-in-law) which causes me to reflect upon my own life. Then I realized that this is my third year in second grade. Three years of doing anything seems to be about my limit and here I still am, so I am wondering, what to do?

Three years ago, I was in an emotional mess as I was trying to figure out what my next move would be. I was leaving the position of librarian which I loved dearly. Why did I leave? I will verbally tell you that I left because I did not complete the requirement of obtaining my Master's Degree in the required amount of time. But in my head I am screaming that I had had enough of Higher Education. For those of you with military backgrounds, it was BOHICA, baby, ALL... THE... TIME. I can't tell you how much I hate Higher Education! In college, you're on your back for four years... a Master's Degree requires looking at your toes... I guess a PhD requires scraped knees and a willingness to swallow... It's not for me...but after barely making it out of high school I never in a million years would have thought that I would be NEAR education much less a teacher.... crazy. That just shows you to never give the Universe the finger and tell it you'd never... (insert your own thing you wouldn't be caught dead doing). (Yeah, I even dated a used car salesman...kill me!)

But I'm good at it...teaching, I mean..... Dammit.

Can I blame it on Paulo Freire? His book, "Teaching as a Subversive Activity" inspired me then as it does now. But it's not easy working in a system undercover... and it isn't easy trying to change a a behemoth from the inside. But I do my best... for those 18 kids... every day.

One of the songs at my funeral is... sorry... WILL BE, "The Authority Song" by John Mellencamp (I think he was actually called Johnny Cougar at the time, but I can forget that because the song rocks!) If I can't have "Hells' Bells" by ACDC as the processional (coming in), then I want "The Authority Song". It's my life-- a sad statement, I agree, but there it is. For those of you wondering, Molly thinks "Hell's Bells" would be too hard on my family.

I have a sewn patch about 7" in diameter from my time in Korea (Thanks, Uncle Sam!). It shows a hawk swooping down on a mouse for the kill. The mouse is standing up facing the hawk, flipping him off. I think I want that engraved on my headstone.... but I'm not sure I want a headstone yet....

All in all, I guess teaching hasn't been too bad for me... I mean, if I'd have to assign a position to it, I'd give it a 69.... I've been to New Zealand, Japan and now I'm going to Scotland, so, the die has been cast and I will stay in 2nd grade another year. But I can tell, I'm ready to move on.. find another path to tread... it's time to stretch out and grow...and I wonder what I will become in this next reincarnation?

C'mon sing it with me now:

They like to get you in a compromising position
They like to get you there and smille in your face
They think, they're so cute when they got you in that condition
Well, I think, its a total disgrace

And I say:
I fight authority, authority always wins
I fight authority, authority always wins
I been doing it, since I was a young kid
I've come out grinnin'
Well, I fight authority, authority always wins

So I call up my preacher
I say: gimme strength for round 5
He said: you don't need no strength, you need to grow up, girl
I said: growing up leads to growing old and then to dying,
And dying to me don't sound like all that much fun,

So I say:
I fight authority, authority always wins
I fight authority, authority always wins
I been doing it, since I was a young kid
I've come out grinnin'
I fight authority, authority always wins

I say Oh no!
I say, Oh no!
I say, Oh no!
C'mon Kick it in!
I fight authority, authority always wins
I fight authority, authority always wins
I been doing it, since I was a young kid
I've come out grinnin'
I fight authority, authority always wins