Our Identity

I was out yesterday to get my physical for Scotland done. As I entered the building today, I was greeted with no less than 3 people telling me that a friend had been in the office with the principal yesterday and both had been crying. We knew she had been in with the Learning Coach dealing with an emotional issue and several other things were a little peculiar as well, so the team had suspected something like this was in the works for a while and we mused about the possibilities. You see, this is the time of the year when everyone declares their intentions for the following year, ie. Who will not be returning? Who would like a new position? Who would like to change rooms, and what room they'd like to move into, all things like this get thrown out into the public forum. But, because I hate bad news and prefer to get it straight up and undiluted, I asked her about it at lunch. Our suspicions were confirmed as she told us that she wouldn't be returning next year. She was going to stay home and maybe do some volunteer work, and then she cried some more. And suddenly that delicious baked potato that I had to have instead of the salad I had originally intended to eat wasn't as savory as it had been in the first few bites. Where, oh where is a cattle prod when you need it? I need my jaw wired shut! She obviously wasn't ready to talk about it but because her hand was forced, she did... and then she went into the bathroom.

I tried to apologize after school but I realized that my apology was weak and pointless. The deed was done and there was not much more to say of it. What I wanted to say is how sorry I was that this decision was causing such a conflict of emotion-- but that is really the perfect reason to make it, isn't it? Whenever do we feel as alive as when we are swept away by strong emotion? That Does NOT mean that I think we all need to become emotional junkies creating a life based upon drama-- hey, I'm done with that! But think of the countless times we make the easy decisions that keep us trapped in a life of mediocrity? She's young. She graduated from high school, went to college, and became a teacher. A wonderful and noble profession, and yet it's one that I've thought of abandoning many times over... This seems to be the perfect opportunity to try out a new life. I can't even count on my two hands the number of jobs that I've held in my life... there's such a wonderful world out there and let's face it... teaching will always be there any time she cares to come back. Our educational system, as lacking as it may be in some areas, is not going anywhere rapidly. And I don't want her to feel that she needs an excuse! If you are able, because of life's circumstances, to take some time off to NOT work at all, I think we should. Life could go a bit slower, perhaps we would have time to craft a thoughtful response to the questions life dangles in front of us. In America, our thirst for prestige and recognition have distorted our view of what life is meant to be. We haven't moved all that far from the stern and hardworking Puritans that helped found this country but perhaps we have moved too far from the thoughtful men and women who were able to watch the world, think upon it and reflect and then reach out and change it for the better. How many Thomas Jeffersons or Jane Addams have you run across lately? Not too many, I would imagine. We are caught up in our job as our identity. And I am SO talking about myself here. You can just hear the pride in my voice as I introduce myself as a teacher because I SAVE THE WORLD EVERYDAY! But I am so grateful for the men who pick up my garbage each week that I make a point to go out to speak to them when I am home and they come by. I am grateful for the men who deliver gasoline to the local HEB so I can live my comfortable life without too much thought. My beautiful house was obtained through the wonderful work of two women who feel as passionately about people having the home they love as I am about the students I teach... I might be a teacher now, but I am so much more than that... as are you and is my friend.

I hope that my friend gets "the chance to dance along the light of day and head back to the Milky Way" in the words of Train. There's a magnificent universe out there and I hope we all get a peek at it at least once in our lives.

Kayla, we'll be waiting to hear all about it when you get back! Bon voyage!