YaY!!! I have TIME

I know, I know. Time is not real-- Intellectually and scientifically, I understand that it is a human construct to linear-ize (I know it's not a word) our life but I can sure get caught up in it. Of course, I am most susceptible to get caught up in "time issues" when strong emotions are involved. The end of a school year has scads of strong emotion floating around it. This year,  for whatever reason, was a year that I became especially attached to my students. They had so many needs and issues that I could barely keep my head afloat day after day... and yet when I look at the academic and social growth they have made, I am speechless. I know I'm going to sound like I am putting too much cream on my tacos here, but I can really teach-- and not just academics.  I am always floored by this realization because so many times I feel like a "pretend teacher"-- certainly not good enough for those precious children who look up to me each and every day. Truly, it is a miracle they learn as much as they do, but they did and this year, there were REMARKABLE gains. 

But I don't want to talk about my class anymore because it still has a fresh scab on it --and I'm still too close to them --and I need to distance myself and-- it's June. It's time for my life to begin again. It's my turn to renew my Netflicks subscription to see all the movies I have missed from August until now. I have a L-O-N-G list of books I've been meaning to read and for all my talk to my students, I have not seen the interior of the Pflugerville Public Library in so long that I doubt they will remember me.  I have to clean my house because unsuspecting people are coming to live here in a few months and even though my house is 30-something, I still want it to shine and become a haven for them as it is for me... And it's time to drink coffee (or tea) out on the patio and listen to the cottonwood whisper secrets to me. Secrets that I didn't have time to listen to during the school year. It's time to figure out just exactly where the cardinal nest is and my poor gardens need to be pampered. 

A beautiful thunderstorm came up last night. That's big news. In Texas it quite often LOOKS like it will rain but it never actually does. Last night it RAINED. It was breathtakingly beautiful. True, two tornadoes were sighted but nothing actually landed-- as far as I know. And even though there were claims that one of the sightings was not too far from my home, the storm didn't appear to be dangerous as I stood out on the patio and watched the rain sheet off the roof and pound onto the dry, parched ground. My heart leaped in joy as the fresh scent of rain and the cleansing winds tore away all that lingered since the last rains. It was a fresh new start not just for the earth which desperately needed the rains but also for me. A rebirth of sorts. A welcome back. The storm soaked my skirt, washed my face and sent me off to sleep a deep, dreamless sleep. When I awoke this morning, the earth gently gave way as I walked upon it. It was no longer the hard, unyielding, concrete-like material of yesterday, but a soft, warm, life-affirming haven for new life. ... like my soul again.