Meanderings on Missouri

I spent the night in Misery, oops, I meant Missouri. (Sorry, Steph) Missouri, where everyone talks with a southern accent. Missouri. Home of the Mason-Dixon line and a CONFEDERATE state—say WHAT!?!?!! Missouri, where you’re still in the south--- after driving through Kansas—which is not in the south. I mean seriously, how far North can you be located and still be considered “southern”? It’s a lovely state, I’ll give you that. It’s beautiful, gently rolling green hills and bucolic scenes along the highway are a pleasure to look at. But, it’s nickname is  “The Show Me” state and the home of President Harry S. Truman….Some folks blame him for the length of the Vietnam War... I mean the Vietnam Conflict. Lovely wife, though. A man can’t be all bad when he marries a girl named Bess. Thoughtful people—they’ll correct your pronunciation in a heartbeat and not bat an eye. Lord, don’t tell them you’re from Texas! They’re all over that. I’m not much for pissing contests when I’m in Missouri. I’ll wait until I get home to Minnesota and have to defend my adopted home but I can’t do it in Misery—ummm I mean, Missouri. It’s just not worth it. Okay, so I’m channeling Andy Rooney right now, but when was the last time YOU had to drive through Misery? I mean Missouri.