ADdIcITIoN

OMG! I woke up this morning with a throbbing headache-- throbbing hard enough to wake me from a very deep sleep. I rolled over, put my meditation CD on and assumed that I was just tired from the trip out to El Paso and having to go to work this morning. Within minutes my headache worsened and I was forced to get out of bed to find aspirin. As I stood in front of the cabinet I tried to figure out what kind of headache was I having-- a normal stress headache which means Advil or a sinus/allergy issue? As I stood there, the headache worsened until I almost thought I was having a migraine. I grabbed 2 Advil, got water and washed them down, got back in bed and restarted the meditation CD. Not 5 minutes later, I found myself fighting to keep the Advil in my stomach. My head was roaring and I was in the most acute pain that I have been in for quite a while. I knew I wasn't having a migraine because I have decided that I don't get them anymore, so what on earth was going on? I also knew that calling for a substitute on the first day back was unacceptable because I would be docked my pay! I spent a bit o' cash on my sweet boys and I pretty much need my normal paycheck anyway so...

I laid in bed trying to figure out what was going on with my body I realized that my headache was worsening (if that was even possible), my stomach was roiling, my muscles were weak and I was acutely sensitive to light and sounds. I was sweating, which is so unusual for me and my thoughts were richoceting around my head like a pingpong ball at an Olympics tournament. I had no focus whatsoever. I tried to think back to the day before to trace my day to discover what was going on with my body...

I got up at the normal time- 4:30-- 3:30 El Paso time-- dressed and left Melissa's house. (A little trauma there-- I hate saying good bye and prefer to slip away like a thief in the night but of course, my daughter and her husband sleep lightly and I was foiled in the attempt.) Melissa doesn't have a coffeepot and the Starbuck's was closed so I just headed out on I10. Driving into the night, there was nothing but a deep starry sky and a humming road for quite a while. By the time I got to VanHorn, I was wishing for some coffee but there just aren't any coffee shops in West Texas like there are in central and east Texas.... and I am NOT drinking horse piss just to have coffee! At Fort Stockton (actually Kent, a small town outside of Fort Stockton) I stopped, gassed up and got a Coke to abate the caffeine craving I was experiencing. Back on the road I was on the lookout for a Starbuck's sign or any coffee shop but I was feeling better because I had the Coke. Traffic was VERY light and the trip went smoothly until we were between Dripping Springs and south Austin and all I can say is thank god it was not anywhere near 5:00 because traffic was at a standstill for long lengths of time. I think it took longer to get from Convict Hill onto the freeway than it did to go through Harper and Fredericksburg....
I dropped Dad off, went to the post office and dealt with my vandalized mailbox, washed the car and gassed up again. Went home, showered, took a short nap, and went to HEB since my cupboards were BARREN. I went to Mom and Dad's for dinner, watched HOUSE MD and 24; came home checked my email; tried to decide on a Facebook entry to no avail, and just went to bed... nothing too out of the ordinary, so why was I feeling so awful?

Allergies? Stress? Missing my boys? Ahhh... no caffeine. What? Didn't I have several Cokes? Yes, but I had Coke Zeros-- no calories, no carbs and NO CAFFEINE. I was sadly enough in the midst of a caffeine withdrawal.

Unfortunately, knowing that doesn't make it better-- only time does that but I did need to make that fateful decision-- do I make a pot of coffee to ease this pain I was in-- or do I give up my morning pleasure...

Cafe´

Really, something so blissful should have a much more beautiful name for it... Even when I say it in español, the name doesn't capture the heat and flavor that fill my head with the rich layers swirling across my tongue onto the top of my mouth....Ahhh, my first cup of coffee... I love sitting on my patio with the cup near my face so that I can gently inhale the bouquet while my bottom lip caresses the edge of the cup. The sun dances patterns on my robe, the wind whispers softly in the pear tree, my eyes are half closed and I am lost in a sparkling brown maelstrom of taste and sensation... for now, there is nothing like my first cup of coffee in the morning...

and it's enough.