i'm typing this as quietly as i can. you see, i'm back to slipping out of bed quietly before anyone else wakes up so i can enjoy my morning coffee and a bit of alone time before the kids wake up. and please, don't for one moment think that i'm complaining about this-- i'm not. i was just struck by how old behaviors can resurface so quickly.
as a single parent and a working mother, there was never any down time for me. no one to tag team off with. it was my choice-- i was the one who moved a continent away from my family to get a job in my field. anyone who has had kids or even been around them a while knows how much energy and attention they demand. it's relentless. it's overwhelming. it's all consuming and yes, it's worth it-- but it does have a price. for me having my two daughters and being able to provide for them was very important and i certainly don't regret it. i wish had had done lots of things differently-- like said "yes" more often, maybe paying the electric bill before they turned the power off those two times, and perhaps took more vitamins so that i wasn't always so exhausted and grumpy....but those experiences made me the person i am today. (i do like being me.) and i like and love those children that are soon to wake up and leave me wiped out by 9:30. (oh, who am i kidding--i'm a morning person- i get up early and i go to bed early-- always have.) it's just that this week instead of getting up and being my regular noisy self-- i'm stealthy.... even the coffee pot was swathed in towels to mute it's burping noises as it brews my morning bliss...
i love being a mimi. my boys are the most incredible, genius, beautiful boys ever to walk this planet. they are talented and brilliant and messy.. they have no butt so their pants are always sagging low and when i watch them play, i am amazed at how much they can accomplish one-handed (another sure sign of their talent!) as they hold their pants up with the other. belts? they lose them or forget to put them on... and they are already wearing slims...
they make friends with everybody and there's not a neighborhood that they can be in for more than 10 minutes without finding kids to play with and have new friends... it's amazing to me! when we go to my parent's house, a very quiet neighborhood with a few kids in it, there's always a game of something that they've made up with whatever material they have found and far more kids involved in the game than i ever knew lived there. it's like they have a special sonar to detect "friends".
i remember when my daughter found out she was having a boy. i was so confused! i looked at her and said--'i'm not goiing to be able to help you, Missy. I only know girls..." i know she thought i was being ridiculous but i really was (and still am) baffled by the male pysche. it's been okay actually. i have found that raising boys (the little i get to do) is not so different from raising girls.... or i raised my girls like boys.... hmmm (oh well, that's a whole other blog) at any rate i find that my parenting skills and the advice i am able to offer (even unasked-- i know, i'm bad) is much richer for all of my life experiences. i'm better at parenting the second time around- which makes me just a little sad. i would have liked to be perfect for my girls-- but that was part of the problem, i think.
ooops.. some one is up. i'll have to sign off for now. i think i need to snuggle with someone until they wake up completely-- even if he is 9 years old!
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