I haven't blogged.. yes, I've wanted to... it's just that what's on my mind isn't just about me. It's about my family and there's no way I'd want to hurt them-- even inadvertantly. But I don't think anyone is reading this so maybe I can just get some things out there so it's not all muddled up in my mind, weighing me down...
My son-in-law is dead.
No, we didn't always get along... he was actually cruel many times in our relationship... but my daughter loved him and his boys loved him. I could see the potential he had and although I don't weep... there's a deep gaping hole where he should be and is not.
When I got one of the first frantic messages telling me to call my younger daughter, my heart froze and I thought that he had killed my daughter... It's been my worst nightmare since they married. I have his social security number... I have his license number.... My daughter insisted that he would never hurt her (she lies) and so I have a full description of him set aside in the event that my biggest nightmare would come true...
But he was dead instead.
He shot himself in the driver's seat while my daughter sat in the passenger seat. And I truly think that he was only playing mind games with her-- he was like that-- but the alcohol impaired his senses and I think he did not expect to actually die.
But, really, who among us does?
